Look, look. How much improbable my dream could possibly be? Oh, poor, poor thing. Pitiful me, so aware yet so ignorant about the instrument of dreams. Does this one intangible thing people fight against each other for, called love, considered as that one term everyone else has, called dream?

My Lord?

Does that apply only if I am the victim of it, sacrificing my own self, and the number one thing that has always been mankind’s pride, common sense?

For I have always been wrong, misplacing my heart everywhere, leaving trails of blood in its process. I prayed and prayed for you to guide me, but were they the intermezzos to my path of happily ever after?

This one time, this one mistake. Another one, correct. I fell in love with one, whom I know nothing about. Am I sinning, or am I loving, that is one question I keep asking myself. He, someone so grand and honored, did not seemingly deserve a rubble like I. Thus far, it did not stop me even a bit.

Is it counted, my Lord, for me to love someone so real, and yet unreal, without expecting anything in return—and will undoubtedly get nothing in return? Will this be permanent or will this be temporary, as things have always been?

 

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Bukan Tentang Kartini

Mungkin Kau anggap kaumku ini;

Hanya untuk dihamili, diperbudak, dan duduk di rumah.

Mungkin Kami bagimu;

Tak pantas mengemban ilmu, berprofesi, apalagi menuntut hak.

Lalu congormu itu mulai berkoar,

“Sungguhlah kalian perempuan-perempuan laknat tak tahu Agama,

Kebarat-baratan dan menyalahi aturan!”

Tapi bilamana budak menjadi tuan,

Kerbau menjadi juragan,

Dan berkehendaklah Tuhan,

Akankah Kamu masih berucap sama,

“Wanita musti dijajah”?

 

21.04.16

 

Kodrat wanita bukan untuk tunduk pada lakinya,

Kodrat kamu dan aku sama,

Untuk saling memenuhi.

 

Kepada Angin yang Berhembus

DSCN0603Petang tadi  aku berjalan

Menelusuri bait-bait yang hilang

Kalbuku yang ditampar rasa tentram,

Bersenandung kecil karena girang

 

Ingin aku tetap tinggal

Di tempat yang memanja mata,

Juga melepas dahaga,

Serta membuang segala perkara,

Dengan bentangan asri dan penyangga langit berapi

 

Tapi waktu mulai berdetak tajam

Memperingatkan dengan kejam,

“Sudah tiba waktu pulang.”

 

Sanubari yang merasa kalut,

Diantar semut-semut,

Kembali ke tempat ilmu banyak dituntut

Dan nasib banyak digantung untuk mengisi perut

 

Selamat berpisah,

Semoga untuk sementara

Dan bukan selamanya.

 

Klaten, 6 April 2016